TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize