yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
