What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
