There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize