Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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