Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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