Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize
