when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize