He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
His nipple licking is glorious
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