i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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