No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
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I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
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