At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
