dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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