I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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