Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
