Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
