Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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