So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize