Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
