so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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