True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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