If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Randomize
