i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
