So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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