Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
