ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
We talked him into tasing himself.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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