I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
