I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
