whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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