IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize