DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
we're so committed to being not committed
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
