do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize