Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
