She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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