Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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