I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
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Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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