Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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