Tell her she can't have a vagina
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I need a beard to bite.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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