If that was your dad, he is hot
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
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