FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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