Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Still dying that you shit outside
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
