Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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