Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Randomize
