His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize