porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
she smelled like a LAN party
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
That was an excessively violent trivia night
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
