the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
