fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
