One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
