My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I want to be your penis for a week.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
His nipple licking is glorious
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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