the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you didnt know i had herpes?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
