please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
