Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
