i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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