I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
