porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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