I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
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He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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