The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
