so that wasnt chicken after all
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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