my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
