There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
