my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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