How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
