why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize