Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
